One of the biggest misconceptions I hear today is that Christianity holds homosexuals to one sexual standard and heterosexuals to another. I understand why people think that. Christians have often spoken loudly about homosexuality while remaining quiet about heterosexual sexual sin. When that happens, it gives the impression that God singles out one group while excusing another. That simply is not true.
Simply put, biblical sexual ethics teach one standard for everyone. God designed sexual intimacy for marriage between one man and one woman, and every person is called to that same standard regardless of their temptations or attractions.
God Designed One Standard for Sexuality
The Bible begins with God’s design for marriage. In Genesis 2:24 we read, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Jesus reaffirmed that design in Matthew 19:4 through 6 when He pointed back to creation and declared that God made humanity male and female and joined husband and wife together in marriage. He did not introduce a new sexual ethic. He affirmed the one God established from the beginning. That means God’s design for sexual intimacy has never changed.
Biblical Sexual Ethics Apply to Everyone
The Bible does not separate people into different categories with different rules.
If a man and woman have sex before marriage, it is sin. If a husband or wife commits adultery, it is sin. If two people of the same sex engage in sexual intimacy, it is also sin.
The standard is not determined by our attractions. It is determined by God’s design.
Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
Paul echoes the same truth in 1 Corinthians 7:2. Because of sexual immorality, each man is to have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Scripture consistently directs sexual intimacy into marriage and calls every other sexual relationship outside that covenant to repentance.
Different Temptations Do Not Change God’s Truth
This matters to me personally because I experience same sex attraction.
People sometimes assume that because I speak about homosexuality, I am asking gay people to live by a higher standard than everyone else. That is not what I believe or teach.
A heterosexual Christian may struggle with pornography, lust, or the temptation to have sex before marriage. A married Christian may struggle with adultery. I struggle with same sex attraction. Our temptations are different, but God’s standard is the same.
The Bible never says temptation itself is sin. It teaches us to flee sexual immorality. In 1 Corinthians 6:18 Paul simply says, “Flee from sexual immorality.” God calls every believer to holiness regardless of the particular temptation they face.
Following Jesus Costs Every Christian Something
Jesus never promised that following Him would be easy.
In Luke 9:23 He said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
Every Christian has something they must surrender to Christ. For some, that surrender involves sexual temptation. For others, it may involve pride, greed, anger, or unforgiveness. Discipleship always costs us something because following Jesus means submitting our desires to His authority.
That has certainly been true in my own life. If you want to read more about that journey, I share it in Same Sex Attraction and the Cost of Obedience.
If you are carrying shame because you experience same sex attraction, I also encourage you to read Same Sex Attraction and Condemnation. There is an important difference between the conviction that leads us to Christ and the condemnation that drives us away from Him.
One Savior, One Standard
The Bible does not teach one sexual ethic for heterosexuals and another for homosexuals. It teaches one standard because it points every one of us to the same Savior.
We all come to Christ as sinners. We all need His grace. We are all called to repent. And we are all called to follow Him in obedience.
That is why I believe Christians should stop framing this conversation as though homosexuality is the issue while heterosexual sexual sin is somehow overlooked. Scripture addresses both. The question is not whether our temptations are the same. The question is whether we are willing to trust God’s design more than our own desires.
Arch Kennedy
Bold, Unfiltered, and Unafraid
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