As a Christian experiencing same-sex attraction, I have prayed for years for God to take it away. He hasn’t. That reality forced me to confront something I did not want to face. I used to believe that if I was truly following Christ, my desires would change. When they didn’t, I started questioning everything.
Simply put, same-sex attraction and Christianity forced me to wrestle with whether I would trust my feelings or trust what Scripture teaches, even when the struggle remained.
What I Thought God Would Do
For a long time, I believed change meant transformation at the level of desire. I thought that if I prayed enough, had enough faith, or did everything right, then what I was experiencing would eventually disappear.
That expectation shaped how I viewed my relationship with God.
When nothing changed, I assumed something was wrong with me. I questioned whether I was truly saved. I wondered if I was missing something other Christians seemed to understand.
That mindset created frustration and confusion because it kept my attention focused on my feelings instead of on what God had actually said.
What Same-Sex Attraction and Christianity Actually Looks Like
When I stopped assuming and started honestly studying Scripture, I began to see something different.
In Galatians 5, Paul describes a conflict between the flesh and the Spirit. That passage does not describe a Christian life where every struggle disappears. It describes a battle that exists inside the believer.
That changed how I understood my situation. The presence of the struggle was not proof that God had abandoned me or that I was failing. It revealed that there was now a real battle taking place.
Then I looked at 2 Corinthians 12. Paul pleaded with God to remove something painful from his life, yet God chose not to take it away. Instead, He told Paul that His grace was sufficient.
Paul was not lacking faith. God was accomplishing something deeper than simply removing the hardship.
For me, same-sex attraction and Christianity became less about changing my feelings and more about whether I was willing to follow Christ in the middle of the struggle.
That shifted my entire perspective.
Scripture does not teach that every temptation or desire immediately disappears after someone comes to Christ. It teaches that believers are called to walk by the Spirit and live in obedience to God even while the battle continues.
The Shift That Changed Everything
The turning point for me was not when my feelings changed. It was when my focus changed.
I had to stop asking why the attraction was still there and start asking whether I was willing to obey Christ regardless of how I felt.
That question changed everything.
Instead of measuring my faith by whether my desires had disappeared, I started measuring it by whether I was choosing obedience. That brought clarity I never had before.
It did not make life easier. It made my direction clearer.
What I Believe Now
I no longer believe feelings are the highest authority in my life. They are real, but they do not determine truth.
Scripture is clear about God’s design for sexuality, even when it conflicts with what I experience internally. That does not mean the struggle is imaginary. It means my feelings do not redefine what God has established.
Real freedom came when I stopped expecting the desire to disappear and started choosing to follow Christ anyway.
That is not repression. It is surrender.
If You Are Still Struggling
If you are a Christian struggling with something you have begged God to remove, you are not alone.
The presence of the struggle does not mean God has abandoned you. It does not automatically mean you are failing.
Sometimes God changes people by removing a struggle. Sometimes He changes people through the process of learning obedience in the middle of it.
You are still responsible for your choices. You are still called to follow Christ. And that calling does not change based on your feelings.
Final Thought
I still do not fully understand why God did not take this away from me.
But I do know this. He has taught me that following Him is not ultimately about getting every feeling to change. It is about surrendering every part of myself to His authority, even when obedience is difficult.
That is where I finally found clarity, direction, and peace.
Watch the Full Podcast
I talk more deeply about same-sex attraction, obedience to Christ, and what Scripture taught me in the middle of this struggle below.
Arch Kennedy
Bold, Unfiltered, and Unafraid
Struggling With Sin or Holding Onto It?
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