Why I Trust God Over Same-Sex Attraction

There’s a sentence I’ve prayed countless times:
“Jesus, I want You more than I want sex.”
And I’ve meant it. Deeply.

But if I’m being honest, some days, I don’t feel it. Some days, I feel the pull of same-sex desire more than I feel the peace of obedience. Some days, the ache to be touched, to be close to someone, to be loved in that way—it roars louder than Scripture.

This is the part of my life that I haven’t talked about publicly in detail. But I’m sharing it now because I know I’m not alone.

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I Didn’t Choose These Feelings—But I Chose Christ

I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be attracted to men. That desire just… existed. And that’s what makes this so hard. It’s not a preference. It’s not rebellion. It’s something I feel in my body and emotions.

People say, “You can’t help who you’re attracted to.” And you know what? They’re right. I can’t help what I feel. But Scripture never says temptation is sin. It says acting on it is.

Jesus was tempted in every way we are—yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). That means temptation is not the problem. What I do with it is.

I still battle desire. But I’ve learned that desire doesn’t define me. Christ does.

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The Lie That Sounds Loving

Today’s culture says if something feels good, authentic, or deeply personal, it must be right. “Love is love” gets thrown around as a moral argument—as if the sincerity of a feeling makes it holy.

Even within the church, some argue that Scripture only condemns lust or abuse—not loving, same-sex relationships. They say the Bible was only talking about temple prostitution or exploitative arrangements.

But when I go to the Word of God, I don’t see wiggle room. I see consistency.

• Leviticus 18:22: “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.”
• Romans 1:26–27: Paul calls same-sex acts “shameless,” “unnatural,” and against God’s design.
• 1 Corinthians 6:9–11: Paul includes “men who practice homosexuality” alongside other sins—but also says, “such were some of you,” showing that transformation is possible.
• Matthew 19:4–6: Jesus defines marriage clearly: male and female, joined together by God.

This is a classic case of cultural relativism—where feelings get elevated over Scripture, and truth becomes whatever someone wants it to be. I wrote about this more in Biblical Truth vs. Cultural Relativism, where I explained how dangerous it is when we let emotion replace God’s authority.

Here’s an article from GotQuestions.org that outlines this biblically and clearly.

The truth is, Scripture doesn’t make exceptions based on whether a relationship is loving or consensual. It doesn’t say, “Unless you’re in love.” It simply says it’s not God’s design.

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I Still Long for Touch—And That’s Not a Sin

One of the deepest needs I feel as a man is for human connection and physical affection. I’m not talking about sex—I’m talking about being held. Hugged. Known. And that’s something most Christians don’t talk enough about.

God created us for intimacy. For community. For physical closeness. And same-sex attraction often thrives in the absence of healthy, godly touch.

I’ve learned that I need real brotherhood—friends who aren’t afraid to sit close, hug long, and walk with me through the lonely days. Not in a sexual way. In a soul-healing way.

For more on this journey, I strongly recommend this Desiring God article by a Christian man walking the same road. It offers four grounded lessons on fighting well and flourishing in faith even while living with same‑sex attraction

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Everyone Has a Struggle

Mine is same-sex attraction. But I’ve talked with men who wrestle with porn addiction, emotional affairs, lying, anger, pride, and self-hatred. The truth is, we all want things we shouldn’t have.

Sin isn’t unique to any one group. It just wears different clothes.

So no—I don’t think I’m worse than anyone else. I just think my struggle is more visible, more culturally controversial, and often more misunderstood.

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I Don’t Know Why I Feel This Way—But I Know What I Choose

Science still hasn’t figured out why some people are attracted to the same sex. Genetics, environment, trauma—it’s all still debated. But for me, it comes down to this:

I may not know why I feel this way,
but I do know Who I trust.

Jesus has never failed me. Even in my most broken, tempted, lonely moments, He’s been there. Calling me home. Covering me in grace. Reminding me that I am His—not because I’m perfect, but because He is.

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I Still Want Jesus More

Let me be clear:
There are still days I want what I shouldn’t.
There are still nights when loneliness feels like a shout in my chest.
There are still moments when temptation speaks louder than truth.

But even then, I still say:
Jesus, I want You more.
Not always perfectly. Not always instantly. But deeply. Honestly. And again tomorrow.

“I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
—Philippians 3:8

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”
—Matthew 5:6

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For the One Who Feels What I Feel

If you’re reading this and feel the same battle in your bones, I want you to hear me:

You are not disgusting. You are not disqualified.
You are not weird for wanting love or touch or intimacy.

But don’t let those longings lead you away from the One who loves you most.

Jesus is better. Not always easier. But better. He will give you the strength to obey when you don’t feel like it, and the peace that comes from knowing you are more than your desires—you are His.

And that’s why, even when I don’t feel free, I still say:
I trust God over same-sex attraction.

Arch Kennedy
Bold, Unfiltered, and Unafraid